In the course of the CIA career, where briefings were delivered to presidents, policymakers, aid workers, special ops units, and ambassadors, the former agent emphasized the pivotal role of emotional intelligence in all interactions.
The agent underscored the importance of tailoring communication to the audience’s language, citing an instance of providing President Barack Obama with a graphical representation alongside a written report as a testament to this approach. Drawing on extensive experience, the agent identified nuanced behaviours consistently demonstrated by individuals with high emotional intelligence when engaging with others:
No intimidation by status
Individuals with high emotional intelligence, as reported by the agent, exhibit composure in the presence of high-profile figures, bosses, or clients. Their emphasis lies not in being overwhelmed by the environment but in delivering their message effectively. This approach involves treating everyone with kindness and respect, contributing to their efficacy as communicators.
Practice and preparation
According to the agent’s observations, emotionally intelligent individuals prioritize rehearsing their delivery over succumbing to anxiety in preparation for significant presentations. By focusing on the content and delivery of their words, they consistently achieve outstanding results. Overcoming fear, as detailed by the agent, entails not only mental preparation but also physical practice, adopting a powerful persona, and thorough preparation until it becomes second nature.
Sense of perspective
The agent noted that emotionally intelligent individuals acknowledge the inevitability of mistakes, maintaining a perspective that a misstep isn’t the end of the world. Whether met with approval or silence, they navigate through awkwardness with ease, showcasing resilience and earning the respect of their peers.
Start small and low-stakes
As reported by the agent, individuals with high emotional intelligence recognize that improvement is an ongoing process. They willingly embrace discomfort, starting with less intimidating opportunities, such as speaking at a PTA meeting or delivering a toast at a co-worker’s farewell, gradually progressing to larger stages as their comfort zone expands.
Lead with strengths
The agent observed that emotionally intelligent individuals possess a keen awareness of their preferred mediums and communication styles. This self-awareness allows them to adapt their messages effectively to different situations, understanding that impactful communication extends beyond live, spontaneous speech to include writing in scripts, emails, or letters.
Purposeful voice use
According to the agent’s insights, speaking with purpose is a distinguishing feature of emotional intelligence. Individuals with high emotional intelligence articulate their thoughts with a clear understanding of their objectives. Whether aiming for career advancement, organizational improvement, business development, cause advocacy, stepping out of comfort zones, or sharing significant ideas, the use of one’s voice is about harnessing inner power to address matters of importance precisely when they are most relevant.
